Baby Diary's

Well, what can I say... I am overjoyed. I must say I knew before I knew!  You little one, are a gift from Maui!  So I will not be surprised if you come out on a surf board! We have so much love for you already.  Although at this time you are only 5 weeks, we have already shared up's and downs with you and feel like God has blessed us.  Last Friday your Dad and I got to see your little picture.  You are so tiny.  Just a speck...but a speck that is growing very strong and is such a welcome blessing.  When we left the doctor we jumped up and down with excitment!

New York- New Years

There is nothing more beautiful than the city during the Holidays.  There is something so surreal about all the lights and decorations.  Walking the streets in the crisp cool air, holding hands and taking it all in feels like something straight off a movie!  We also had a chance to meet up with family for a warm dinner while celebrating the end of a year.

Before I tell you how CRAZY New Years is in Times Square.  I must take a minute to reflect on this year.  Although I have a wonderful husband that I am very blessed to be with, this year was hard.  Kevin and I experienced a loss that I never knew happen.  We have tackled moving away... multiple times, from friends and family.  We have experienced hard times and lots of late work night.  We have experienced trials of learning to live and work together.   But through all that we persevered and actually became so much closer because of it.  I can say with out hesitation that Kevin is my best friend and my soul mate.  God knew exactly what I needed when he brought him in my life and I am grateful everyday for a man that loves me so much.  He spoils me rotten no doubt!  But in all the trials of 2011 and the health issues I had... the biggest one we faced was loosing a baby.  The emotions of the situation tried to wedge walls between us as a couple and we found ourselves having to learn how to cope together.  It was hard, heartbreaking, scary, and discouraging all at once.  But as the year came to a close we found ways to move on and know that God had a plan and a time for us.... So I was more than willing to say goodbye to 2011 and welcome what the new year was going to bring!  And to be honest I had a hunch that 2012 would be much better (wink wink).

 So as you can see the crowds this time of year are crazy.  Its amazing how many people you can actually pack into a small space at one time!  We had tickets to Fridays on Times Square and let me tell you why that is the best thing ever.  1) Your not in the barricade with all the other 10 million people who lined up at 4 in the afternoon to stand with no room, no food, no water, no bathroom...in the cold.  Yep doesn't sound that fun huh!! 2) We could walk the streets all night, had drinks, food, warmth, restrooms, and music.... do I need to continue???

All in all it was an amazing experience.  I think everyone should make the effort to do it ONCE. But then cross it off your list and move on.  haha

We had such a good time and I will never forget it.  And I have to say thanks to Kevin...otherwise I would have never actually done it!

Kevin was such a sport with the 2012 apparel

Happy New Years all... This year I made NO resolutions.  I am going to live this year as the moments come. 

Maui Christmas

Well its been a while so I have a lot of catching up to do.  Kevin and I flew threw November and anxiously waited for December.  Then we decided to take the month off!!  And I must say this might be my new favorite tradition.  We went to Texas for a week, then Maui for a week, then back to Texas for Christmas... and then New York City for New years.  Wow when you read all that you are almost worn out just saying it all....but it was just what we needed and we enjoyed every minute of it!

It had been too long since our last trip to Maui, and the minute I got there I must say I felt more at home than I had in a while.  Although I miss Texas, I hope that when we are done being Yankee's we do not go back.  Maui is where both of our hearts are and there is just something there  that is un-explainable. 
So it only makes sense that special things happen there....I will elaborate on those later!!!

But it was great to relax, catch up with friends and family and breath the fresh air!  Here are a few pictures from the trip. 

I loves seeing all the different trees up for Christmas

Kevin always ask me sunset or sunrise... well after this trip I decided Im a sunset girl.  There is nothing better than a glass of wine, the sound of the waves and a beautiful sunset to top off any day!

I love that there is a full rainbow in the back of this picture.  It was our last day there before we left for the airport..it was like Maui was sending us off!

Our last night and family dinner!  What great memories.  I will forever cherish THIS TRIP!

Next we headed back home just in time to spend Christmas with all of the family in Texas.  It was so good to see grandparents, aunts, uncles, and best friends.  I have to say Christmas Eve at the Brogdon's was like a time warp.  Its good to know that no matter what space separates's you, love brings you together.  And watching the kids made me feel like I was re-living the past and how Jenifer and I grew up!  It was a special moment!

favorite places and spaces

Today I was on Pinterest... which has completely taken over my life.  But that is a story sidenote.  One of the boards is a spot to post links of your favorite places.  So I got to thinking about some of mine.  Kevin and I have been very fortunate to take many various vacations and visit some really neat places.  But out of all the little trips we have taken there are a few spots that really just stand out and that I love.  Some of those are repeat staycations just because we love them so much.  As much as I look forward to adding to these over the years.  I have to say, so far my list ain't to bad!! 
Thanks baby for making my life so special and for exploring the world with me!

very personal

To those of you who follow our blog.  All though the last few posts are both happy and then tragically sad I decided to post them because they were real.  The emotion is not something that will be forgotten, and when I chose to share the "experience" with our loved ones, I did not say I would leave out the hard parts.  I think its important for the world to know how much we loved and cared for this baby that we had tried for over a year for.  I think its also good that one day... I will be able to look back and reflect on this.  So yes.. its very personal.  But... its life and its real.  And if you were to ask me right now.  I have nothing else to write or describe feelings for.  So for some of you this might all be news, or a shock.  But I hope in reading it you will pray for us and the grief to pass.

Thank you to all the friends and family who have already prayed so diligently for us in this time.

This was sent to be by someone who has experienced the trials of trying to conceive as well... and has really helped.
Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

sad goodbye

This is probably the hardest/ saddest blog I will ever write.  Today precious baby bean, your father and I received bad news.  For the past 8 weeks you have been growing inside my tubes.  No words can describe the devastation I feel.  You are and always will be my first baby.  And the joy you brought us in such a short time is followed by sorrow in that we will never see your face and hold your little body.  Although you were only with us for a short time you will never be forgotten.  The bond between a mother and child is forever, and because of this my heart is saddened.  The tears/ anguish I have experienced of the past few days are un-measurable.  No one will ever fully know or understand the pain that comes with loosing a child until it happens.  In the sad moments when the warm tears stream down my face I think of how much love I have for you and how badly I want to be a mother.  But I also pray for a healthy baby... and my sweet baby bean this was not something that would have been possible for you.  I know time will heal all wounds, both physical and emotional.  But in this moment, I grieve for you!

I have to remind you of a song that gives me comfort in this time.  A song I hoped to one day rock you to sleep to.  So precious baby bean, I will rock you to sleep in my heart tonight as the Lord takes you home.

Lullaby.

How long do you want to be loved?   Is forever enough?  Is forever enough?  How long do you want to be loved?  Is forever enough because Im never never giving you up.

As you wonder through this troubled world, in search of all things beautiful, you can close your eyes though you are miles away, and hear my voice like a serenade.


Love Mommy.

6

Baby Bean...
This is a big week for you.  Your brain is developing as we speak!  Mommy is trying to make sure she has zen thoughts and that everything stays calm and collected this week while you form that little noggin.  Dr. apt gave you and official date.  MARCH 6TH!!!
Seems like so far from now but I know time will fly.
Trying to eat more fruits and veggies to help you grow big and strong, and I only had coffee once this week.  I was also informed by the urologist that I MUST drink more fluids to avoid kidney stones again.... so down the hatch. 

Your daddy and I got tickled over names the other night.  We have a boy name picked (we have for some time now) but if you are a girl you have already got us stumped!haha

Here is a bit of our conversation of trying to think of girl names that start with a K...
Kevin "I think we should name her Kalli",
Me "ummm didn't you have a cat named that"
Kevin, "ok well it needs to start with a K, maybe we can name her something interesting like Corona...but with a K" 
Me "awesome so the kids name is gonna be Kalli Korona?"
Kevin " No how about Corona Crayon"
Both" hysterically laughing"

Now every name we try Kevin sticks Crayon in the middle.

Yes for now that is all we got, so pray that some inspiration comes to us in the next 8 months or you little bean...are doomed!